* Auburn wins. Perfect ending to the worst football season in recent memory – they are officially the least bad team in college football for 2010, at least until the NCAA strips them of the title in 2013. On the bright side, not one other SEC fan was willing to rally behind them for the sake of conference solidarity – which hopefully brings an end to the “S-E-C!” meme. All that gushy “we should all support our conference’s teams in the bowls” nonsense is for hippie granola conferences. KIDDING HONEY.**
* Maybe now Oregon will quit trying to kid themselves. They got pantsed in Strawberry Canyon last November, and tried to make it go away by plugging their ears and screaming “FAKE INJURY FAKE INJURY” at the top of their lungs. Well how about this: if one guy taking one dive is enough to drag your offense down to 30 points less than its per-game average, your offense sucks monkey bricks. Auburn went to school on what Cal did, and as a result, Oregon scored…wait for it…30 points less than their per-game average.
* I will say this for the sake of conference solidarity: if you don’t have a two-back power game to use down at the goal line when you need points, don’t schedule an SEC team. That usually ends badly, especially if your back seven or eight can just spread wide and stay in lanes without having to worry about middle run support.
* So Verizon’s getting the iPhone 4. CDMA, not LTE, which means – as you are about to hear shouted from the rooftops – you can’t do voice and data at the same time. Yes, you will get Verizon’s super network, and yes, you can wi-fi your data connection out to 5 other machines, but the first time a call comes in? It all drops. I didn’t think Verizon would be willing to be exposed like that, but then, I didn’t think Apple would give them apps on the front page either. So we’ll see. I fully expect this to end in tears.
* Well, it looks like the Verizon apps are downloadable, rather than installed. Not surprising. I will be really curious how this all looks in eight to twelve weeks.
* I heard DJ Earworm’s annual mashup of the top 25 songs of the year, which one person described as “a brave attempt to make a gourmet meal out of 25 shit sandwiches.” I definitely buy into the notion that this year’s music is all about the mindless techno version of Masque of the Red Death. I also think that if “California Gurls” was supposed to be the response to “Empire State of Mind” then NYC clowned California and we should have Katy Perry hanged as an inadequate representative. But then I hear Russell Brand dimed her out on Twitter with no makeup, which sounds like punishment enough…
* I need to lay in some decaf coffee. I know, blasphemy, but sometimes you need the civilizing influence of coffee at 9 PM. I don’t have what I had.
* Speaking of, the high point of bowl season was the regular liveblog on EDSBS. And even though it’s hard not to feel like the Old Dude In The Club sometimes, it was still a hell of a lot of fun and made the best of what was a substandard BCS season. Again, it may be the finest sports blog on Earth; if you’re not reading it for all your college football needs, you’re missing out.
* So glad to have Craig Ferguson back on the DVR, even if he’s not doing the epic 20-minute monologues of days gone by, which honestly might have been the most epic thing on TV ever. This very bright guy, with a hell of a story and a hell of a lot of baggage, just baring his soul nightly at 12:30 on CBS? It was great, and HD isn’t quite enough to make up the difference.
* Shutdown time. Must remember to plug in the backup phone, even though I don’t think I’m going anywhere. Laptop in bag, Kindle to wireless-off (probably magazines tonight, to be honest), pen in pocket and pad within reach, scrambled eggs for dinner and Angostura soda for dessert…
** totally not kidding.***
***totally kidding. As far as you know.****
****insert Eddie Izzard nod/shake sequence here until it stops being funny, then continue 5 minutes