The Future

If you want to see what the apotheosis of the modern Republican party looks like, you look to the South. And if you want to see its future, you need only look at Alabama State Sen. Scott Beason (R-Jugtown). The Gardendale member of the “upper body” of the state legislature has had quite the busy month.

First, there was the abortion bill, which is not surprising – you expect a GOP-controlled legislature in the South to try to outlaw abortion wherever they can, and the 20-week limit is predictable. Watch for more whittling around the corners.

Then, there was the illegal-immigration bill, which by some measures is even worse than Arizona’s: it’s now against the law for you to knowingly rent an apartment or even give a ride to an undocumented alien, and schools are responsible for documenting the immigration status of their students and their parents. Not that it will stand a chance in federal court, but for now, thousands of Alabamians are doing backflips because they think they finally have a way to legally shit on brown people again.

But the real humdinger, the real ace in the hole, the ne plus ultra of Republican hypocrisy, the one that takes it all is the attempt by Jefferson County to get the authority to set its own taxes. See, in order to maintain a good bidness environment, individual counties can’t set their own taxes or rates; the state legislature has to grant them the authority to do so. One more reason the state Constitution of 1901 could stand to see the wrong end of a paper shredder.

The bill went before the Legislature. Beason used a Senatorial privilege to block the bill, as any Senator can do for a bill affecting his local district. There was begging and wheedling and warnings of doom, but he held firm, and the legislative session expired without granting the tax rights to Jefferson County.

Why is this important? Well, as has been famously documented elsewhere, Jefferson County got utterly bank-raped in the financial crisis of 2008. J.P. Morgan Chase convinced the county that they could finance operations with an increasingly baroque series of financial instruments, and when they imploded, so did the county’s finances. They are now facing bankruptcy. And to make matters worse, a state court invalidated the county’s occupational tax, leaving them $75 million in the hole. The home rule bill was an attempt to come up with a tax structure to try to make up $50 million of the shortfall.

And Scott Beason, friend of small government, promptly used the power of the state to prevent a local government from having control over its own taxes. All in the name of lower taxes. He suggested the country use its cash reserve instead – the same cash reserve that the county is holding as an emergency backstop now that the financial shenanigans of the previous county government (and of Wall Street) have left the county unable to raise money in the bond market or secure loans.

The result? 32-hour workweeks for county employees. Hundreds of layoffs. Traffic accidents now turned over solely to the state troopers – themselves so badly funded that a few years ago, only six units worked the entire state during the night hours. And God alone knows what will happen the next time a major tornado tears through the area.

Meanwhile, the rest of the state’s tax structure remains as lopsidedly regressive as ever. The state can expect to run low on money for some time to come – with property values depressed, the already-weak property tax won’t be bringing in much. Income tax isn’t particularly reliable when people don’t have jobs. Only the sales tax chugs along, and at close to 10% in most areas – including on sales of food and medicine – it tends mainly to make a bad financial situation worse. And the average resident of Jefferson County, making $30,000 a year, has now saved a whopping $34 thanks to Beason’s valiant stand.

So there it is. This is the GOP vision for Alabama. And, by extension, for America. They’re already talking up Scott Beason for a run at governor, or the Senate. He’s got time. He’s only 41 years old.

And that’s the funny part. Because I know him. Not well, and not for years, but when he was in third grade, I was temporarily promoted out of first and into his class for most of the school year.

I was way smarter than him in 1978, too.

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