Fuck You Wall Street

Looks like they’re at it again.

Memo to the President, to Congress, hell, to everyone: they have not learned.  They will never learn. The only way you advance in finance is by being a big swinging dick who thinks he is so important that the world will bend over backwards to save him (thus “too big to fail”).  It is the purest version of the Whiffle Life, and they are convinced that what they do is more important than anything else on Earth.

Overregulated? FUCK. YOU.  I want Jamie Dimon to have to go to the Securities and Exchange Commission to sign out every time he wants to take a piss.  I want TSA agents at the doors of Bank of America patting down staff in the evenings to make sure they’re not walking out with cash in their socks.  I want every bank with assets over a billion dollars to spend its existence in what I can only describe as a permanent prostate exam.

If a dog won’t stop humping your leg, fine, that’s in his nature, but eventually you cut his balls off.  It’s long past time to cut the balls off American finance, and when Obama drives to the airport for the last time as president, I want it to be with Wall Street’s testicles hung like Truck Nutz from the back bumper of the limo.

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