Monday evening leftovers

* Bought another Nerf gun, a little $10 thing from Target. Already cut the air restrictors out of it – it’s ridiculous loud but I can sit on the far end of the sofa and hit the front door knob every time without particularly aiming.

* I knew that everyone from Vandy was coming back for next year’s basketball season, but I didn’t realize that the one scholarship addition – John Jenkins of Gallatin – was averaging 42.3 points per game his senior year of high school – #1 in the nation. Assuming that AJ Ogilvy sticks around for his senior season, 2011 could be one hell of a year for the Commodores.

* When you’re being sensible and drinking non-alcoholic spacers between your pints, it’s advisable to use water rather than something with caffeine in it. Especially Red Bull Cola. That stuff hurts you worse than the booze.

* Three ways you know you’re not “technically savvy”:

1) You describe yourself as “technically savvy.”

2) You do comparative laptop shopping by going to Fry’s.

3) You decide that good battery life means buying an HP slab with about 2 hours of real-world battery usage.

* Seriously, there comes a point where if you keep saying things that are demonstrably stupid, you should not continue to have a public forum. I’m not looking at anyone in particular, but let me point out that the FEMA-concentration-camp shtick was tired when Jello Biafra was bloviating about it from the left when I was in HIGH SCHOOL.

* Microsoft can say what they like, but I’ll tell you this: I had a Dell go dead last Tuesday, one under a next-day warranty repair deal. The tech came out Thursday, replaced the power supply and motherboard, and said it needed a graphic card replacement. The tech came out Friday and replaced the graphics card. This morning, the computer failed to boot exactly as on Tuesday. Now I have a freaked out doctor who has a week to go in grant season – the best I can hope for is that she’ll believe me when I say that Dell’s tech needs a wood shampoo and not think “oh, my new IT guy is butt-worthless.”

* Watching footage of Magic Johnson from 1979…and thinking about the matchup with that big kid from Oklahoma who will probably be the number one pick. Is he as good as Magic? Well, he could probably take Magic…but then, you have to remember that Magic is fifty years old and has almost two decades worth of retroviral drugs in him. God knows I got no love for the Lakers, but if I could take any player in his prime to start a team with, the 6-9 “point guard” from Michigan State is my go-to.

* A different doctor said something to me about “tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow.” I finished the entire Macbeth soliloquy for her. I don’t think it’s going to be long before these people are prepared to believe absolutely anything about me.

* Seriously, this isn’t a basketball game, it’s an autopsy. Unless things change drastically, the second half will be rated TV-MA for violence.

* Burger King is still F’ed up beyond recognition vis-a-vis their advertising, but I could have done the rest of my life without seeing a bunch of old college coaches in their shorts. Who the hell’s approving the advertising on CBS?

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