Dear America

Shut it.  Seriously.  Shut your hole.  You asked for this.  You went along with this.  You decided that THA TERRISS was scarier than Magneto, scarier than Darth Vader, scarier than the Mandarin multiplied by Voldemort.  The New York Times broke this warrantless wiretap thing in December 2005, and you collectively yawned and rolled over.  As a result, every single thing you are freaking about is 100% legal.  No laws are being broken.  You gave the government a free hand because you were gripped in pant-shitting terror, so it’s a bit rich to suddenly decide that this is some amazing scandal.

If you had a lick of sense, you’d recognize this: the things that the government is doing with Verizon, or Google, or Apple, or AT&T, or Facebook – these are not things that the government itself does.  These are things these companies can do all by themselves.  In fact, they’re the basis for the business model of Google and Facebook. So it’s not just the big bad evil government jackbooted thugs you should worry about.  It’s every time you click “Agree” without bothering to read the text that nobody but an IP lawyer could make heads or tails of anyway.  It’s every time you leave your privacy settings as default on every service. 

This has been our life for a decade.  Now that you’re paying attention, maybe we can start talking about what life looks in a big-data pervasive-surveillance state, and start talking less about what we can do with it and more about what we should.

You gotta make douchebag borderline-racist paranoia work for you

So another FISA order to Verizon has been “unearthed” by the Guardian, and the usual suspects are losing their shit.  Clutch the pearls! Government snooping! OBAMA IS THE NEW HITLER ANTICHRIST!!

Um, don’t look now, but this was going on since at least 2006.  There were reports of FISA orders, of warrantless record subpoenas and telecom compliance…and nobody but the bong-watered granola shavers of the left cared.  Everyone else shuddered in fear of THA TERRISS and went right along with it, occasionally with the ol’ “I don’t have anything to hide” glibbery.

Well, now that the hateful President Supervillain Magnegro has been associated with it, maybe we can get some traction on getting the PATRIOT Act under control.  After all, Democrat big government is something to be afraid of, right?

BTW, if you dig down: this is metadata harvesting that’s been going on for seven years.  It’s almost a mortal lock that in the same amount of time, Google or Facebook have far more personal and individualized information on you…and they’re selling it to the highest bidder, and you can’t file a FOIA act or vote them out.  Sad but true: people basically don’t care about their online privacy. Never have.  Never think about it, mostly.

sigh.

One 4 the old days

So owing to a combination of circumstances, I came back into possession of an iPhone 4.  It’s the one my wife was using before I replaced it with my old 4S once I went to a 5, so it’s out of warranty and unlocked, and the test was to see whether it would work with some other SIMs and be a practical device.
 
It was an interesting experiment. You can see the limits of a phone almost 3 years old – no 3D on Apple Maps, no Siri, drags a bit here and there, the home button isn’t wildly responsive – and the screen definitely feels smaller. But it almost has the feel of one of those “mini pro” Android phones I was looking over in the mobile shops on the Rue Cler back in 2010. And if the battery is up to scratch, this wouldn’t be the worst thing to take abroad – given that I couldn’t afford to keep refreshing Twitter all day on prepaid international rates, it would only have to take pictures and maybe play some music all day.  The downside, though, is that my eight-year-old Virgin Mobile UK SIM didn’t work in it, and now I’ve cut the damn thing up and it won’t work in anything.  Shit.
 
Intrigued, though, I kept testing with my T-Mobile prepaid SIM.  I wiped the phone completely and started from scratch; my only configuration was to turn on iCloud and my office’s mobile configurator. In about 15 minutes, it was up to work spec and had all my iCloud data: mail, calendars, photo stream, notes, Passbook cards, weather locations, and Safari bookmarks.  Like the Iron Man 3 scenario I mentioned previously: pull the SIM, pop it in a new phone, start the sync, and pow, back on the horse in the time it takes to get back from the cell phone shop.  Of course, I don’t have data service – this SIM is the one that goes in the MOTOFONE I use on nights when I’m fasting from the Internet – but I can still use both home wi-fi networks (no YOU’RE a toolbag nerd) or avail myself of the wireless that’s still everywhere from the light rail to the McDonalds.  Essentially, what I have is a glorified iPod Touch that can also be used in a pinch to make actual phone calls or send and receive actual text messages.  

I only popped a few apps on there – the Google Maps app, of course, and Google Search (the voice search works, which is key given that the 4 doesn’t support Siri) and the Kindle and Economist apps so I have some reading material in a pinch. Flip off the Wi-Fi, and there’s my shutdown-night loadout in one device; reading, iPod and phone all in one.  Which makes for a nice sleek alternative (with easy bailout options in a pinch; just turn Wi-Fi back on) that fits in a pocket and looks much more sleek than carrying three things to the coffee shop.
 
And make no mistake, the iPhone 4 – unencumbered by case or bumper – is still a ridiculously sexy piece of kit. It’s a three year old design and yet I find I am still more drawn to it than the 5. It’s on a par with the likes of the T610 or K710 from SonyEricsson, or the PowerBook 1400, or the New Beetle, or the Carolina-color Air Jordan IX – long since superseded by newer or better tech, but still awesome and still enough to ping the “want” center in my adolescent mind.  I still wish I’d had it on the Europe trip in 2010, much like I wish I’d had the old iPad for the 2010 DC trip or the iPhone 4S for the Vandy game last year.  You want a new magical piece of technology in my hands, just send me on a trip without it and it’s sure to be invented or offered within a month…