Math and its failings

So while out in the wilds of the Ancestral Lands last week, I more or less completely missed the announcement of the iPhone “5.” Which let’s just start with the obvious: this is an appallingly stupid name.  This is the sixth iteration of the iPhone and it doesn’t have “5G” whatever that may turn out to be someday, so there are no logical mathematical grounds on which to call this the iPhone 5.  There’s a certain measure of dumbing-down there that is of a piece with my ongoing concern about the future of Apple (as evinced by the doings of the new head of retail).  But I digress.

The early reviews indicate that the phone feels thinner and lighter than ever, thanks to a return to a metal back for the first time since the original phone.  And since that original phone was near and dear to my heart (and reposes to this day in my “grab this running out of the burning house” box of keepsakes), I’m happy to think that the new phone will reflect a nice degree of professional sturdiness.  I suppose the stretched screen will be useful, although like John Gruber I’m mildly concerned about the one-hand-ability of the phone at a larger size.  I’m less bothered about the change to a new connector, especially since I’m syncing wirelessly, but I’m sure it’s going to mean a handful of adapters (come to think of it I need to start adding up how many and where)…

And then there’s the elephant in the room: owing to AppleCare, I just took possession of an iPhone 4S not long ago at all.  May, perhaps? In any event, I’m no longer replacing a phone that’s two years and change old, I’m replacing one that was the most current iPhone available two weeks ago.  And since my aim is to change carriers and go through work for it, the prospects of getting it immediately are slender at best…which means loading up iOS 6 today and seeing how long it lasts for me.

Then again, there’s also the matter of LTE to consider.  The LTE speed on the iPad has been amazingly quick and efficacious; I’ve pulled almost 50Mbps in downtown Mountain View which is quadruple the best speed at home on UVerse. 3G on AT&T (and don’t give me that bullshit “4G” about HSPA+; it was bullshit when T-Mobile first pitched it and it’s bullshit now) is just not a patch on LTE on Verizon in the Bay Area, and having that speed coupled to the faster processor on the phone might just be transformative.  And I certainly wouldn’t object to gaining $40 a month back from paying my own (partly-subsidized) bill, especially depending on the data package work’s willing to float…

The bulk of the tech press seems to be unimpressed, the lines are already forming out front of stores, and the Mac blogosphere is gleefully pointing out the dichotomy.  One UK radio personality last week pointed out that in your pocket, you now have a phone, a hi-fi, a television, a movie collection, an encyclopedia, a web browser, a bookstore and music shop, a camera, a camcorder, and all your email – what else do people expect at this point?  For me, that’s the point: I don’t need new and flashy and different, I need faster and longer battery life.  If everything it currently does just works a little bit better all around, that would be enough to justify making work pay for it…

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