RENAULT: …and what in heaven’s name brought you to Casablanca?
RICK: My health. I came to Casablanca for the waters.
RENAULT: The waters? What waters? We’re in the desert!
RICK: I was misinformed.
That’s how it begins. They tell you that everything’s going to be so much better once you’re out of school. Once you get to college. Once you get out of college. Once you get out of this stinking town and head for the big city. Once you get out of the rat race. Once you make partner, once you make VP, once you get the star on your shoulder. Everyone – and I mean everyone – perpetuates this lie that at some point, the game comes to an end, and you can sit back on your arse and relish the spoils of victory.
Hell, they convinced me. They convinced me half a dozen times. Everything will be fine once you get to junior high high school college grad school the real world California on staff … Eventually you learn too late, as I did, that Hollywood’s concept of high school and college is NOTHING like reality. Andie doesn’t get Blaine. The laser doesn’t fire. The popular girl doesn’t get run over by a bus. The team loses the big game 65-0 and the struggling striver doesn’t even get into a uniform, let alone on the bench. The nerds get crushed underfoot, if they get noticed at all, and the plain girl with a heart of gold always gets overlooked. Hell, the only true thing that ever happened in a teen movie was that the girl Duckie pined after went off with the popular rich kid instead – and then they queered the whole thing by throwing him a pneumatic blonde as a consolation prize. But I digress.
The point is this: Jonathan Coulton is right. The cake is a lie. No matter how many problems you solve, no matter how many pieces you fit together, no matter how close you think you are to picking the lock – the test never ends, the puzzle is never solved, and you will never escape. You just have to keep chugging along – you never get to see what’s on the other side of the hill, because it just goes up and up and up. The hard part is learning how to cope with it. Which I am sure I will be doing, to an utterly annoying extent, in this very space.
So on that cheerful note…
Well said.
I remember, in the not-too-distant past, realizing that I was always putting something off until something else happened. Always waiting for the next big milestone to happen so that I could finally, really, enjoy life. But as you point out, we’re bombarded with the idea that it’s supposed to be like that, and it isn’t. It’s not. It never will be. And while it’s a hard truth, it’s also oddly freeing in a way.
It’s a really hard lesson to learn, that’s for sure. But I also think it coincides well with the saying/mantra/way of life that life isn’t about the destination, it’s about the path. We’re always on a path, even when you get to an interim destination. Because it’s just that, the interim (and even that’s not the most descriptive word for it).
This is why it all comes down to attitude and approach and, as you said in your post, coping mechanisms. But I really think it comes down to attitude and approach. I really believe a person’s attitude has a HUGE impact on their quality of life. I’ve know lots of people who have loads of monkey shit thrown their way, but they still enjoy life and are happy for all the good in it. I am constantly amazed and in awe of their abilities. And if you need a reminder, let’s go to Napa and spend some time with one of them. Besides, she’s due in another couple months. 😉