Seriously, I know it’s ridiculous, but you couldn’t get this stuff in Alabama in the mid-80s. Or two-tone. Or new wave. Or, in fact, any of the stuff that I could have really used half a lifetime ago when I wasn’t even remotely too old for this shit.
I know I’ve written at length about my rejection of the whole “rejuvenile” phenomenon, but I think it’s a little different when you’re discovering all the things you missed out on. I got kickball, I got cupcakes, I got everything you probably need to get out of childhood. To be honest, much as I grumble, you could make a case that I got most of what I should expect to get out of adolescence, too. Especially when you take into account how much Hollywood lies to you, and that real life is nothing like locker movies. (Shame, too, because I got a lot out of Heathers.) But I have discovered a lot of stuff that was out there at the right time – only it never got past the Wallace Line, and thus I didn’t stumble across it for ten, fifteen, twenty years.
OK, maybe it really is never too late to have a happy childhood. Maybe too sad, too pitiful, and/or too ridiculous, but not too late. Which means the only real question is….can I get away with 8-eyelet oxblood 1460s?