It’s kind of alarming to think about, but if you knock off standby and talk and audio playback time (which any phone can handle these days) and look at the browsing times, the current iPhone 7 Plus – the big one – doesn’t represent that much of an upgrade over the iPhone SE. Nor did the 7 represent that much of an advance over the 6S, which had to have more efficient internals just to make up for the fact that it packed a smaller battery to make room for 3D Touch. (Which begs the question – what would happen if you made the phone thick enough to contain the camera nub, ditched 3D Touch, and used all the created space for battery? But I digress.)
While there are certain phone makers who will go for a huge battery occasionally (as Motorola still attempts in the mid-market), most premium phone makers seem to have thrown up their hands and gone all on in “THIN THIN THIN MY GOD CAN YOU BELIEVE HOW THIN LOOK HOW THIN IT IS OH YEAH IT CHARGES QUICK YOU CAN CHARGE IT BACK UP IN A SECOND BUT LOOK HOW THIN” which is…okay, whatever. I mean, if you don’t have a charge cable at your desk and leave it plugged in whenever you’re there I don’t know what to tell you, but much good that does you when you don’t have a fixed location and aren’t driving to work with the phone on the charger. The fact that Apple still makes the external battery pack for the iPhone 7 is all the proof you need: even they know it’s not enough.
I won’t lie; I’ve been tempted by the notion of a larger screen. The 4.7” of the original Moto X was in a form factor that worked perfectly, but those days are gone. The Great Mentioner is convinced that the iPhone Pro, so-called, will have a 5-plus inch AMOLED display with no bezels in more-or-less the form factor of the iPhone 7 – which is nice if true but still just a hair too big especially once you get a case on it. And at this point, it’s got to be at least a 5 inch screen; I went from the iPhone 6 to the SE and never looked back so 4.7 isn’t going to get it done anymore.
Thing is – what do I really want with a bigger screen? Kindle reading, maybe, it reduces the number of flicks – but as long as you have the Paperwhite, why not use that and save your battery? The wife found the London flyby in the Maps app, and that was pretty sweet, but is it worth buying a bigger phone? There’s always video, I guess, but I don’t watch video on my iPhone SE in the first place and I doubt I’d watch more on a bigger device. For a generation who has YouTube and Netflix in place of television, the incentives are probably different, but I’m getting by OK.
Here’s the thing, though: if the battery life isn’t getting any better from having a bigger phone, and I don’t need the bigger screen, what do I need another phone for at all? I can’t be the only person willing to stretch their device for three years or maybe more, especially one that has suited me as perfectly as the iPhone SE. (Not even the Apple Watch has been as perfect a companion. I don’t take it abroad, I don’t bother with it on days I know I won’t be at work and won’t get the exercise in anyway, and that Ion-X Glass can scratch just fine, thank you. And when the phone is small enough to use one-handed, you don’t need a remote control to avoid fishing it out of your pocket.)
If I need a larger phone at all, it’s as the shutdown device, the alternate-reality Android that I only use for a few hours at a time and never for anything more than a half-dozen apps. Kindle, Wikipedia, Foursquare, Instagram, Slack, perhaps some sort of streaming audio from London or Ireland or baseball, and that’s about it. It’s possible that something like the Amazon-discounted Nokia 6 or Moto G5 would be a replacement once the faithful old Moto X is no longer suitable for Tuesday or Sunday night unplugging and getting away from it most. And it would give me a crack at Android Oreo (is this really the most apt time for Google to push a product that’s got a lot of brown to look at but is all white at the core?) for whatever that’s worth.
Or, you know, this could be it. I could finally be down to one phone, personally owned, just the SE for all things with the knowledge that there are two or three viable prepaid service options if ever I ditch work. And that’s the thing with the iPhone Pro: if you’re going to drop a thousand dollars on a damned phone, you better know up front that you’re getting value for money for years. At that price point, it has to have a laptop lifespan, not a phone lifespan. Two and done is fine for $200 Shenzen screwdriver-jobs with Qualcomm guts and no upgrade path. From Cupertino, I need better.
Fair warning, Auburn man and limey prick: don’t screw this up.