I notice in the Chron…

…that we’re now down to 3 tree-sitters. Even the euphoniously-named Dumpster Muffin has deserted her post.

Three means you could clean house with a pump shotgun without having to reload. I’m just sayin’.

Let’s be honest: this is going to end badly at some point, and the University of California will come in for an assload of wrangling and histrionics and crocodile tears for their horrible, horrible conduct. And yet, there are a few simple things to bear in mind:

1) There is a fundamental disconnect between the University of California (it’s in Berkeley) and the city of Berkeley, California. The University is an odd hybrid of 1925 and 2015, while the city is an odd hybrid of 1970 and 1981, neither in a good way.

2) Everything at dispute here is within the University grounds and pretty much out of the jurisdiction of the city.

3) Aside from some documentation issues which the court would like to clear up, the judge pretty much found for the university every step of the way, so why those bong-watered granola-shavers were celebrating last week is quite frankly beyond me.

4) (BIG IMPORTANT POINT) This is how civil disobedience does not work: you break the law and then say that the law is unjust and therefore you should face no consequences for it. Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, fucking wrong, Peach Seed. The way civil disobedience works is that you break the law, knowing full well what the consequences are, and accept those consequences fully, trusting in the civil conscience to be forced into questioning itself. That’s how Gandhi did it, that’s how Dr. King did it, that’s how Fred Shuttlesworth did it*, and it’s worked out pretty well so far.** Basically, it boils down to a motto which I wish I knew how to render into Latin (three dozen Catholics in my life and nobody speaks Latin? Nobody? WTF?): buy the ticket, take the ride. The reason people feared for the life of Martin Luther King, Jr, when he came into Birmingham, was because there was a very real possibility that the consequences of breaking the law would be extra-judicial murder.

In short, all civil disobedience ultimately comes down to one question: are you prepared to die in the service of your cause? If the cause is the freedom of a subcontinent, or the end of racial tyranny, then maybe you can say yes, if you have a lot more character than a wuss like myself. SO what Potstem and Crotchrot and the rest of the Symbionese Junior Liberation Front need to ask themselves is “Am I willing to give my life to prevent these particular trees from being replaced by triple the number of generally similar trees in a different location?”

At that point, we can accurately judge the wisdom and sanity of the protest. I hate to annoy the time-warps on Telegraph***, but I have to say that I’m not betting heavily on a “yes” response.

* Look it up. Seriously, I mean it. Go look up Fred Shuttlesworth. What MLK dealt with for a matter of months in Birmingham, Rev. Shuttlesworth faced down for the better part of a decade, and now the one-time “Wild Man of Birmingham” is about to see the city airport renamed for him in the twilight of his life, which I am sure was completely unfathomable fifty years ago. I mean it. Go go go. Wiki wiki.

** Stark Industries gets a nickel.

*** A great whopping stinking lie of the first order. Come on, I have two degrees in political science, I took entire course groups in forswearing and deception, you should expect this of me by now. At least I have the decency to tell you when I’m lying my ass off.