So it looks like the People Against Marching were foiled again, and the District got hit with another waves of yokels out to stick it to the Man by taking it to the streets in numbers an order of magnitude (or more!) less than what they claimed. And oooooh, they have signs and omninous warnings of their power like “We Came Unarmed (This Time)!” OOOOOH OMG O NOZ FEAR!!!!!!!!
Right.
I would like to take a second to remind the mouth-breathing trailer-park proctologists of the Old Confederacy: your team lost. Your boy and your Congressional majority lost because your team shit the bed for eight years running. As a result, we are now engaged in a long hard slog to try to clean things up. Your boys had the run of things for quite some time, and the result was utter and comprehensive failure, from Afghanistan to deficits to Katrina to I don’t know what all. And right now, all I’m seeing from the opposition is the same dog-vomit of tax cuts, bigoted scaremongering, and fantasyland pig-ignorance that the GOP’s been running on for the better part of two decades, ever since George HW Bush and Lee Atwater decided all’s fair in politics. There’s not even a coherent theme there – except that there is, and for all the talk about government power and health care takeover and everything else, this is what it boils down to: we can’t stand the fact that we got beat, and by a Negro.
You know what? The hell with it. Let’s go. We all know you’ve wanted a rematch since 1865. Do it. Rise again. Get out all your M4geries and your cheap Norinco AK-knockoffs and your precious Kimbers and SIGs and let’s just do the goddamn thing. Obviously you’re not going to be happy until you have an actual shooting war and get to rise up against the horrible fascist socialist communist oppression of a government that’s about as radical as potato soup. So let’s quit pissing around. Stop jacking off to your Sarah Palin pictures, put down the jug of high-fructose corn syrup, and lock and load and find some fucking cover. Either we’ll pummel the shit out of you and go back to having the United States, or we’ll finally flush this country down the bowl and make Mike Judge’s movie come true. Either way I’m just tired of the bullshit, and it’ll be worth it just to stop the fucking yap-yap-yap from the radio and the TV and every half-wit with an AOL account, not to mention the constant hemming and hawwing and false-equivalence ass-kissing from the chickenshit whores of the DC press.
You want to “defeat totalitarianism”? You want to “take your country back”? Do it. Take your best shot. TRY IT IF YOU GOT THE SACK.
Otherwise, go back to your manufactured home, sit your ass down, turn on your NBC lineup and shut your fucking hole.
Excellent!
Yeah, I was having a shitty day. Maybe it shows. All I’m saying is, maybe these horse-asses want to take a moment to contemplate that they aren’t the only ones with guns…
I swear, if I hear one more person snicker at work as to how “Obama is going to save us all with universal health care” (how is this a bad thing?), someone is going to get a drawing scale in the ass. Appropriately, I own a metric one that I purchased in Canada.
If this does come to pass, I request that you provide me with 72 hours notification. For one, I know you’re going to instigate this in a fit of W-style “I want to fight the dumbass rednecks in the South so we don’t have to fight them here.” Secondly, I’d say 48, but I may need up to 24 additional to figure out how to arrange a gun rack in a rented Prius. Irony, after all, is a weapon.
Well, I’ve left all my firepower in the ancestral patch, so if you can pick it up on the way to muster (along with ten boxes of .223 and five of .380ACP for the sidearm) I’d be obliged.