I haz a tux.

In retrospect, they should have just carried out tuxedo fittings at freshman orientation. If you were one of the 85% of guys in a fraternity (I wasn’t), that’s 4 formals. If you’re dating one of the 95% of girls in a sorority (I did), that’s 4 formals. If you’re in the band (I was) that’s 4 spring shows, and if you’re a varsity athlete (nope) or a booster (yup), that’s four end-of-year banquets. Hell, the booster club was called the Black Tie Club.

So math it up, add in the fact that I didn’t join the band for a year or the alumni boosters for two (yes, joined before I graduated), and you still have nine instances requiring a tuxedo. NINE TIMES. Only an idiot would rent rather than buying at that point. Granted, it took me a rental or two to grasp this, but I latched on soon enough and bought something serviceable. Actually hung onto it and got use from it all through the 90s, including a number of uses after undergrad.

In fact, the last time I wore it out in public was the last NGS Prom in 2001. I could still (mostly) fit into it, which was good – not as well as I’d fit in it back in 1997, though, for real. And when I moved out here in 2004, I reluctantly left it behind for my brother in case he needed it. And I always had in the back of my mind that I’d have to buy another one…but I missed the obvious opportunity (my own WEDDING) and then didn’t have anything else come up. When you’re in the tech sector, anything with a tie is exceedingly rare…until now.

See, the wife’s company is having their holiday party Saturday in the city. I don’t know precisely what holiday this is for – Burns Night? Australia Day? The Feast of St Alberic? – but what the hell, it’s black tie, so I went out to Nordstrom and let them do their thing with the tape and the chalk, and now I have a nicely-altered tux that should work for me for the next ten years, easily.

Now I just need somewhere else to wear it…